Welcome and thank you for being here. Each post on this blog may stand alone as a contemplation. Yet, if you have not already done so, I suggest beginning with Chapter 1 and reading onwards to the most recent post. In this way the context of the journey will be more complete.
Perhaps it is because of the grief which is unleashed from Omar’s passing that it feels mighty difficult to find the words to share more of his story. But, the center point of this grief is love, unconditional love, and from that place, I will try to allow words to emerge.
Before Omar arrived, after my partenr, Alani, had met him, made her decision and he was on his way home, I could, clear as day, hear a melody singing through the atmosphere. I could literally hear his vibration entering our world. Beneath every outer occurrence, this melody was quietly humming. It was haunting and powerful, joyful and simultaneously melancholic, and oh so familiar… and it came out of my heart as I attuned to him.
We had creatively set up a tiny area right outside of the front door of our RV (Harvey the RV – which we bought 6 months after the herd’s arrival, so that we could “move in” with them – yes, that is another story) complete with a tiny outdoor pop up shade canopy for him. When he arrived and we finally met face to face, my heart burst. I found myself spontaneously laying down at his feet, on my back, looking up at him, heart as wide as the sky, and he licked and nuzzled my heart. It was love and surrender and deep, intimate friendship expressed through the silent language of devotion. We had countless of these expressions throughout the journey of our brief 3 years together.
Omar lived in this little paddock for a month or so until he and the herd let us know they were ready to mingle. It was a rare, rare blessing to live in such a unique close proximity to such a large and sentient equine being and it was truly magical. He seemed very content and we were over the moon. Omar could come in our front door, which is not large enough for his whole body, but perfect for him to extend his head, neck and beautiful face in, perusing our books and joining us in such an eccentric way. He was exactly eye level to the windows of the RV and each night I would slide open the window and nuzzle with him from the nest of my cozy bed, saying goodnight. I felt like I had entered a realm of heaven on earth.
One night, out of the soundest of sleep, in the arms of a silent night sky, I woke and abruptly sat up . There was electric energy zipping through me, not adrenaline, but a dynamic and charged force. I looked out the window and Omar was intently gazing upon me. His Presence was deeply magnetic, a polestar of love and peace. I opened the window and we nuzzled faces. He took his teeth and ever so meticulously groomed my eyebrow! Then we breathed together, my mouth and nose as big as his nostril, silently breathing a circulation of breath. A breath with no giver and no receiver. We simply became the breath.
Breath unfettered by thought.
Breath freed from identity.
Becoming the breath.
This is integrity of the breath. This is when the breath itself becomes a gift. A high ideal which I now know is possible.
Omar was entraining me to the truest part of myself, the part where we all meet- the timeless place of the One Heart. No identity or thoughts live here. Here breath is prana- the inner conduit of life- of spirit itself. It is everpresent. When we can free our habitual consciousness and surrender to the embrace of the unconditioned mind and the Presence of the boundless heart, that is what remains.
Omar taught me that this is the purest love we can give. He is still teaching me. He has shown me- is showing me that this prana does not die when the form dissolves…again, a mystery to be contemplated for all of my days.
Well, it seems that I found the words, somehow, to tell you a bit more. Thank you for creating this sacred space, where we can breathe together, in…and out…again and again. Thank you for meeting me here- in the One Heart.